THE DAY I TRANSFORMED

 

I remember the day my life transformed forever. The day I became a woman. Often times we hear stories about the first sexual experience as becoming a woman or the first orgasm as the rite of passage into womanhood. It is interesting having shared my body many times as well as being married with three amazing children how disconnected I was from my body. I ask myself how can you walk through life and be so detached from the very essence of you. Then one day it occurred to me that most women are scolded and reprimanded for touching down there as if it is a clandestine top secret CIA project. What is so funny is most parents would not even call the vagina by its proper name. I remember having started my monthly and how I was told I could get pregnant not to mention how I was not to let anyone touch it. This information about my monthly came with such heavy energy that I wondered if something was wrong. However, our boys are often celebrated for honoring their male parts besides the fact that their first orgasmic experience is provided by the power of themselves which in turns allow men to have a relationship with their male organ.  

This is the voyage to finding the magic that lies between my thighs. A journey to owning my greatest power. This is the day that I truly understood what it meant to be a woman. I was in New York on business. I had some extra time and navigated through the streets alone. I walked up on a sex museum and a flyer advertised a vagina workshop. I changed course and walked into the place, and up to the room where the workshop was being held.

The room had floor to ceiling mirrors, low lighting, cubicles, a candle in each section, and sensual music. A beautiful, ivory-skinned woman, welcomed me into the workshop and had an amazing accent that led to an air of mystery. She walked me to the place that would become “my section” for the duration of the session. The workshop was filled with women. I could feel the anticipation as well as deep heavy breathing.

As I laid on the floor against the pillow, an inner voice said, “Girl, what are you doing. Get the Hell out of here”. Just as I was about to leave that comfortable spot on the floor, the woman asked us to turn to the mirrors and instead of making a beeline for the door, I complied. She asked us to raise our dresses, remove the underwear and take a look at our vaginas. Then we were asked to open our lips and allow the music to move us into a sensual energy. Our work was to develop a relationship with our vaginas. She wanted us to “send love to our sacred space”.

Next we had to write letters of forgiveness to our sacred space. The letters were to send forgiving energy to the vagina for allowing people in our space who did not deserve to be there.  This led to also writing about molestations and rapes that we had experienced.  Soon, the ladies were crying and the room was heavy with the weight of so much that had transpired in our lives. The tears that flowed, flowed from the memory of the pain of being touched in inappropriate ways. The body as well as the cells remember the hurt. The vagina will hold on to the fire of that pain no matter how momentary the act the effects are monumental. The vagina remember the pain of the people. When this exercise was over we lit the bundle of sage (a Native American cleansing ritual) and then we saged our sacred place while speaking “releasing” affirmations at the same time.  The vibe of liberation swept away the previous heaviness that had permeated the room.  Then the woman encouraged us to write love letters to the vagina.

Before the next request of another sensory experience, she explained that the vagina is like a self-cleaning oven, not to mention it was the cleanest space in the body. Subsequently, the next request was to study the clitoris, to touch, rub and look at her in the mirror. She told us that the clitoris comes from a Greek word that means “Goddess Like.”

By the time we were done with this workshop I was a different woman. I had been with my husband for years, had three children and never had I taken the time to do the things that were asked of me in this workshop. I had been disconnected from my body all these years and never realized it.

The facilitator told us as we healed the womb we would begin to own our voice. I never knew that my life would transform so much. By owning my body and having a relationship with my sacred place, my orgasms became more intense. Owning my vagina changed how I saw myself. My heart connection opened the way and I began to feel love for myself.

One day while I was home alone, I lit three candles, played relaxing music, and undressed. I sat naked on the floor with a mirror in front of me and scanned my body with the intent of truly recognizing and understand the physical parts that I only gave a cursory glance.  My body: my full breasts, the curve of my womb, acquired scars, and then all the way down to the brown-pink colors of my labia. I wondered how my vagina felt about itself, so I listened to it.

Into meditation, a sense of beauty rushed over me. I felt a warmth that was like the sun coming from behind the clouds come over me; a warmth that made my heart sing. Within myself, I could feel the presence of past partners. In silence, I felt the spirit of them. I began to feel the energy of them being released from my energy.

I was compelled to speak to my womb:

“I pray for the healing, transformational and creative power of you. I pray that we stay aligned with the moon. I pray that we are healed and that all energy that enters and exits you is cleansed and given life. I apologize for hurting you.  I apologize for not honoring you. Thank you for being a source of pleasure. I am so grateful for our renewed relationship. I love you.”

I also learned that the vocal cords are patterned in a formation just like the vagina. The throat chakra and the sacral chakras are the only outlets for energy. Voice and orgasm—sounds familiar and quite possibly by why having said orgasm produces a sound of release—from a whisper to a scream. Ideas and life are created from your vagina and your throat. Your vagina and throat are expressions of what you birth. Armed with this information, I began to see my sacred space as the portal of all life.

However, I also saw my sacred space as a way to manifest or birth my dreams. The most high sends life through the womb and brings such blessings into the world.  And it is the same with goals, dreams and ideas as the sacred space is the center of creativity. I began to honor the presence of my beautiful vagina. It is imperative that women not be embarrassed or disconnected about any aspect of their sacred space—the look, feel, touch, taste, and scent.  It is equally important in relationships and in life, to remember that it is part of a personal expression of life, womanhood, and creativity.  Meaning, something that sacred needs to be worshiped and adored, and any person who shares that space should recognize the fact that it, and you, are a 

DIVINE GIFT...

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